okay i was going to write about oh how well was last night going out with my brother and his friends after me being out to him, not to his friends though, and how awkward when of his girlfriend gave a homophobic remark.... and how i am glad that i am out of university and how my dream of being forever 21 has been gone into smokes .... but no today i am going to write about him again...
yesterday i spoke with AK, author of the The Affirmation Blog (http://glamnflash.blogspot.com/) and well we talked about him, and how i knew it wont go anywhere pre-hand and how well we make preceptions about a guy, and create a make-belief world where we could imagine our lives with this guy just based on how we want it before we really get a chance to know a guy... it was interesting talk, helped me get grounded a bit and more excited of a prospect of a new friendship with this man, HIM.
But then he logged online again i think i did everything against not flirting with him, i told him how great he is well the context was different, it wasnt just pure boosting his ego... it had something to deal with something personal he was going through, but i realized as i was telling him that ... that this guy is the ideal catch, he is everything a man wants in another man. highly senstive yet highly butch, highly masculine yet highly confortable with his sexuality, and there is chemistry at least from what i think ... i dont get bored from at all from talking to him, i am like stuck to my chair not moving when chatting with him on msn i dont want to even take bathroom breaks afraid to disrupt the thought and the chat ... the more he talks the more i discover about him.. one of the things that shocked me is that he is highly senstive, and well that he takes time to use this organ between our two ears in our skull (the brain incase you dont watch grey anatomy or House MD)to think about his own emotions, and also how hurt he is...
AK told me that there is a pattern with me that he sees ( i dont ) that i tend to get attracted to guys who need mending kinda like whats her face from House MD, where she always tries to fix broken people... and i am trying to mend him. i dont think that is nessacirly true with him. i am genuinly attracted to him, but i am also smart enough to know that this guy is not ready for dating ... he clearly isnt he has some issues to get over first. and right now i have this feeling that i want to be there for him to help him get over it... dont know why ...maybe later he will get attracted to me and fall for me.... maybe because he is just what will prove to be a great person to have as a friend that one day that i myself can find someone in a the new country i am in dubai (been there for 8 month which is still consdered me as new) to talk to.
oh well it seems that me too need to figure out somethings, .... but thats the beauty of not rushing things it gives you time for letting things take their course naturally with out trying to force it in one direction
oh by the way i am as i am writing this blog i am listening to the new song by kylie ( 2 hearts )
so till next post as kylie says "2 hearts are beating together"
S.
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