20 Something: Back in Cairo

okay i will keep this short, its a mere extension of the earlier blog...
Night 4 of my celibacy vow actually to think of it i havent had sex in 8 days and havent masterbated since i met him. somehow the brain orgasm i had with him has made me more than entertained to think about sex... (well okay i lied i had sexual dream of him, BUT DID NOT WANK OFF)
very normal today, woke up not in an average mood, today is the day i have the walk with my brother about me comming out,
(Phone check in the morninig no smses from him (the guy not my brother))
anyway head off to the plane and listening to a select of songs of which one taht i reallly love Relax by Mika , plane takes have a ocuple drinks then plane lands switch on phone
SMS From him, oh isnt he a a nice guy, he is so sweet as usuall but not flirtious, which is something i like but hate i dont have any signals from him yet, but thats in the same time what i like because as long as their is negative signals thats good and in addition i would want to take things slow .... ever hear of easy come easy go... but most importantly i want to get know him more and i want him to get know me more, my classic mistake with guys. is i dont give them a chance to get to know me, or more like i dont get the chance, according to my friends, my frist impressions on guys are not that great so they dont really get a chance to know me that well, my friends tell me that i should take things slow as they say i give the worst first impression especially the clingy needy crap when i am really not.

anyway got back to my brother place mom and everyone was there me and my brother said hi hugged and so forth (we talked over the phone but still havent talked face to face about me being gay)
so after all of taht me and brother went for a walk that was like a a 2 hour walk... (TALK ABOUT GOOD EXERSICE THAT I MUCH NEED... ) well it went really well, he did bring up teh religious issue but not in the way i expected it he was like we want argue religion because well both cant claim to be scholars in it, and that he doesnt have false hopes for me changing and that he is supportive of it but obviously not like the excited but i think its just something by time it will sink in and it was one of the first time me and him have such a deep talk. it felt really great. it was like akhhh

and about my celibacy thing, well i logged on manjam curious about what is in egypt and so forth not hunting sex, somehow when i looked at the profile i just got this repulsive thing, not because they are ugly some of them are actually cute but its just the same people that was here before plus the new boomers... and i also did not send any message so that was another good move so far i am sexually content.... i felt like calling him to tell him about my news.. but i decided against it, its 3am.


Regards,
S.

i love my brother