20 Something: On the Male Hormones

GOD.... i mean seriously god why did you create us with feelings and hormones and emotions and all that stuff... honest to you GOD, i wouldnt mind if this world just happy emotions happy hormones, 24 hour high, why can we not be 24 hours high!!!!

okay obvisoiuly if we were all the time high then how will we know we are happy .. again as happyness is a relative thing, i feel happy today because i feel better than last night.. i feel sad today because it was not as good as last night... so even if we were 24/7/365 happy, there are days where we would be less happy than others, which is well defined as sad... oh then by my logic we are always happy its just different degrees of happines we have ...


today, rather tonight 4 AM Dubai time, and came to saudi actually 8 hours back so its 3AM where i am right now and guess what i went out for a run around my compound, in my attempt of weight loss and muscle gaining and playing abs and so what of that i mean who doesnt want to look good, we all do and so do i... but the question how hard do we want and are we really motivated about doing it.... i have for more than 3 years been a regular visitor of the gym maybe thats the only reason why i am not over 100KGS .. but during these years i never been dedicated to its so i will go two months and one month not, or something like that, i would eat a pizza when i am done, no real decipline, however now i am changing that i have decided that i am for real going to have to do it this time, i am not going to make excuses, even if i dont my gym next to me i can do things, in cairo i can run around zamalik island, in saudi around my compound in dubai well god bless abundance of good quality gyms, that have even a steam room with hot men to motivate you to go....

so far i have been ranting about and havent really said anything about what the topic is which is the male hormones, more like my hormonal stage, fuck the rest of you men, its me who is important... (ok i take it back but come on, lets admit i am hot the world revolves around me) ...
ask any my friends i go through something what i used to call my "period", where it was just well when i was like 20-23 a period of a week that happens every bi/tri month where i get too emotional, here is the thing i was the kind of guy who would get sex on weekly or bi-weekly basis easily ,..,.. during this period of emotions, i get all like not lonely but how do you say this i think fuzzy, very lovey dovey, i dont konw whats gets into me but i am more into like artistic stuff, love the music start listening to alternative or ones with really good lyrics and anaylize them .... lately from 23-till now (past year and half ... yes that makes me 24 and a couple of months) this "period" started taking more time, more than a week, a month or more and well the last one has been giong on for now almost mmm lets say two weeks before i met Mr.W.D. so that will make it 21 september and today is the 20th fuck its almost two months now, the thing is yes i do have casual sex because in the last two month i did sleep with
1) Mr. Poppers (i was making him sniff poppers and accidentally got it spilled in his nose and so it got a bit burnt)
2) Mr. Italian (we went out i think for two dates, it was nice but i dont know it wasnt really... i dont know, no butterflies in my stomach )
3) Mr. CANNOT EVEN HINT, it just too bad all i can say i was drunk
4) Mr. Loco Gym Boi
5) Mr. Runner
okay so yea 5 guys in two month is not bad and well the problem is usually the regular me who is not on his emotional period would just consider these execept for number 3 as regular fucks and just keep continuing and having fun and not caring .... instead me in period is partying it up and here is the kicker while i am in a party i would day dream about someone or something and create a make-belief fantasy that only exists in my head and its becoming annoying that i am creating all these make-belief fantasies that i know that possibility of them becoming true equals negative infintie ... but at the moment all i have is my fantasies
NO SLAP MYSELF!!! see thats why i hate hormones it makes you wierd and say all those wierd things and the worst part of all parts when i had some of my co-workers in Dubai and even the one who dont see me on day -to day basis in Egypt and Saudi has been asking me
"S, what is wrong with you, are you ok?!!"
and they would repeat twice when i keep saying fuck yes i am okay they came up with some fucked up theory that i am in love !!!
i mean sersiously shouldnt there be someone out there i am dating first before i am in love !!!
well anyway appearantly according to work people that i have a secret girlfriend and who i am having some trouble with because i travel alot...
i am the kind of person who never cared about rumors as long as they dont hurt me, but this is just annoying i mean why would some keep asking me if i am okay even if i said i am ... i mean is their something written on my forehead saying
"Single, Hormonal, Having his Period Gay MAN",
okay maybe i know the real reason i am feeling extra hormonal nowadays however that i cant write now i need to wait a while before i can maybe it will be in one of my confessions that madonna can write as a song


Single Gay Boi,
S.