o well really couldnt think of a title againa other than the fact of after dark, i am writin this blog at 2am while i cant really get anny sleep .... just thinking of a random of thoughts... one i thinki ran out of men to message on gaydar and manjam, i think i need to find an alternate means of finding ways of meeting men,... but it just strike me why do i want to meet men, why do i just want to date... am i becoming desperate ?... well no not really... i know desperation.. i have been there before,, i am just well i dont know... i just want a proper date... i am 24... and i have been all over the place, had a wonderful life till now.. great friends... i slept with over a 100 guys ... so sex isnt really the first thing that jumps into my mind i am just well 24 and have not been in a proper relationship, or as a matter of fact i dont have someone to call my own...
to be honest i think the fact of that is destroying my ego... am undatable? the thing i know thats not true, i had a lot of guys who wanted to date me, but i felt its was just for the wrong reasons, one they are not only relationship addicts, the guys who wanted to date me are guys who had as many relationships as their fucks and they are probably to justify their sex with the guy, but look also decent by just jumpin from one to another... and i dont to be involved with that...
so yes i am datable. i am great on paper, i will give myself a 7/10 in terms of looks which means yes i am okay looking not supper hot but okay.... i have sex appeal also, personality wise i am funny in a sarcastic way, work wise... well lets just say i have a secure life, so i guess yes i am datable on paper... but about when it goes to the proper date... i am afraid that i dont think i have the skills of dating or whatever it is called, that i slept with two many guys that the only skill i have is to how to get a guy in bed...`but what if i want to get a guy interested in me mentally, is there something i should do... well i believe not... i believe i should be the way i am... and if the guy is interested then well he is interested , if not he is not... however i feel there is hidden art to dating... and i am not talking about the whole rules (which i also dont believe in) when to call it, playing hard to get, waiting for an amount of time to sms.... i believe in the free spirit that i should do what ever i like when ever i like with out pretending to be playing some gay ... but probably that is my problem, that i am going by my belief and well... my belief is based on psychology... the crazy boy pysch... not the rational guy pysch... not how i act will affect him....
oh well thats my midnight thoughts,,, oh and by the way .. just to avoid confusion to readers this is not in regards to Mr.W.D. but rather to me in general, we are off Mr.W.D... (he is in the friend zone)... there is a guy i am going on a date on monday he shall be called Mr. Sweet... will see how does that go.
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