20 something: breakthrough

oh okay so how do i say this... MR. HIM, MR. HE has read my blog, dont konw if he would actually read it repeatadly but he did read it.. ... how did that happen?!?!?!?

Side bar note // so far i think i have only guy leaving comments on my blogs, mohamed, (thanks by the way) i do recomend others to leave notes

anyway how did this start... i think the weekend was pretty normal for me... went out with friends for shisha, and a game of cards (I LOVE TO PLAY CARDS).. and while i was just toying i think i send him an sms and get a quick responce.. my str8 friends say a flicker of a smile on my face,,, they are like whats up ... i am like its him, for some reason most of my friends str8 or gay oor even brother knows of his name... okay brother different story, i didnt want to show him i am slut who slept around, and that i easily get dumped so when i came out to him the a day after i met him i told him that i am dating someone which was a complete lie so i just used the first name that popped in my head and well yea it was him of course... i konw its pretty pathetic... BUT TELL ME YOU NEVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION BEFORE!!!

anyway the next day he was online, i actually was kinda expecting it, i see him online more often on fridays and saturdays than on the weekdays, so we chatted for a while, then more of a while then i think its just hit me i am getting more comfortable with this guy in a friendly way... and well i have this major flaw, i think ommiting the truth is lying and i hate all forms of lying... anyway so i had to elaborately drop in hey i kinda have/had a crush on you.. but then he brought up the opprirtunity talking about some guy and he doesnt understand why is he so into him so i dropped in hey i can relate because i think almost the same, etc....
but then i think i did something very stupid i got carried away and gave him the link to this blog!!!
all that was going through my head then is shit shit shit shit ... i mean on msn yea i said that hey i think i use to like you but my blog lately has been a total dedication to him he is ggoing to think i am some sort of stalker and want nothing to do with me... so i gave a him a little of warnings.. that it might come off as strong but not to look to much into it ...

he was like cool he will read it later, since he was going out that night, again in my head FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT i am going to have to wait ... and you guys have no idea how much of a nerve racking experiance it is literally i didnt know what the hell to do, so i did what my old self does best when understress..... have sex.
okay msn... who to choose for tonight... oh hey there is an interesting one... so i meet with this on this way to see this new character lets him Mr. Plant (trust me there is an interesting reason behind this name but well another time) ... so we meet up and promised we go for a run around one of the clubs of egypt, then end up in the locker having oralsex... the problem was during all of it iwas thinking of the guy who was sucking me off rather i was thinking of him... NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY but like on the way to see the guy i was messaging him, while i was running i was sending him a message, something about him having a crapy night out ... and now that i was in the middle of the blowjob .. i just wanted to tell the guy do you mind if i send smses during it!!! lol okay that didnt work... not to say the sex was really not good and didnt help a bit...
so the night has passed and he hasnt read the blog ... i could hardly get any sleep ... its just i have over a trillion scenarios going at the speed of light in my head at once. i dont know what to think what to do ... or more like what he would do
so called on my best friends AK, and he told me S, to be realistic i think you tried everything to ruin you friendship with him and him reading that might really scare him off, if i did read that i would get scared... i was like damn you are so re-assuring, AK, was like i just dont want you to get your hopes high or something like that everything was a real blur...

so here are the sceanrios in my head
1) he will get scared and run as far as way from me and not respond back
2) he will tell me S, i am flattered but i dont think i can continue to see you ... you are just too dramatic for me
3) hey s, its okay ,,, we are still friends
4) hey s, oh i feel the same way about you lets move in together and have our babies together
5) hey s, do you want to meet on the beach under the moon when you back in dubai so we can talk about this
6) HOW THE HELL DO YOU DARE WRITE ABOUT ME ONLINE WITH OUT MY PREMISSION

do you guys follow
anyway i finally get some sleep and wake up early morning traveling to alexandria, i am like okay no sms from him yet, did he read when he came back late night last night
did he wake up and read it... so i send some message which did not say anything about the blog, but the reason i am sending the sms to check if he is alive, got a responce back, then after the responce got another saying by the way still didnt read the blog... i was like good so he figured out i am toying around to know if he did read it... i am like oh what if he read it and he doesnt want say something so say that he didnt read it ... but thats not him... oh well

so later on while i am shopping with my mom in alexandria i message him again with someother excuse,,, he didnt mention anything about the blog,

then i am in the trainstation two hours later i am like hey listen i am a bit of psyco and worried.. and send you a lot of texts disgused to know if you read the blog,.. he responds back "getting a cup of tea and about read them"
thats the last thing i got for about an hour
or two
i dont know it felt like an eternity the whole 24 hours since i gave him the link felt like a week,

okay so an hour later i got an sms
"Get your ass on msn now!!!" i freaked out
i was like okay its a responce but the hell am i suppose to do i was on the train my heart skipped like 10 beats , i replied back saying cant on the train will call you in a miute ,

then while i was dialing him from egyptian phone i got a responce on my uae number. " you wont loose as friend" .............. oh now i feel relaxed

i am actually super glad, after finishing the call with him, called AK, and told AK see i told you that this guy is different, unlike you running away, might i remind you AK i did flirt with you a couple of times both sexually and emotionally three years ago but you never ranway :) :)


now that me and him are in the friendship zone i guess he deserves a nick name Mr. W.D.

so now that i am thinking about what happened during the course of a month oh and by the way 5th of november is going to be 1 month since i actually met him, but i am like thinking glad to make new friends in dubai, unlike my shallows ones that i do have with like zillions of guys ... but i also keep thinking what if there a romantic date... oh well there is alot what if...


Guys,
till next post,
it could be about Mr. W.D or some guy that i go on a date with dont know...


S.